Have you ever wondered if you should sleep with the person on your first date? Do you do it? Do you not? Is it the need to score, or the fear of rejection that’s driving you? Is it the need to feel wanted? Or, are you seized by a genuine desire to connect with that person? Are you following your heart?
Intimacy expert Allana Pratt of Digital Romance TV talks about first date sex.
New research conducted by the datingadvice.com has found that 74% of men were more likely than women to date someone after having sex on their first date. Interesting, isn’t it? You would expect men to be the womanizers, and women to be the heartbroken victims of Lotharios’ games. But, don’t fall for stereotypes and preconceived notions.
Let’s get a little personal in here, and have a heart-to-heart talk. What are your dating choices? Ponder it for a moment. Have you ever felt like you need to have your void filled after a long period of being single? Is it the emptiness that needs curbing with a sexual act?
Think the drink through until the end.
- When you are on that first date, are you empty or full? Are you coming from a place of clarity and confidence, or are you indeed meeting them to make yourself feel complete?
- What’s your motivation for wanting to have sex on your first date? Is it to the desire to triumph over something and feel enough? Is it the fear of rejection or abandonment that’s rushing you into it?
Now, consider this.
What would it take you to go out on a date where you are so confident and full that sex is a choice not influenced by the wrong reasons?
Imagine yourself truly being present with that person. You check in with your body, your heart, your soul, and you decide whether sex with them on your first or tenth date is what will make you feel more expansive.
Ask questions.
Closely listen to your heart and let it answer the following questions:
- Does sleeping with this person expand your life?
- Does sleeping with this person honor you?
- Will it be fun?
- Will it be safe?
- Will it be a contribution to your life?
- Will they be grateful for you?
This is not to talk you out of enjoying sex on your dates, first or not. This is to awaken your connection with your heart, and let your authentic self come forth and make decisions.
Have fun experimenting, my friends, and until next time!
