Category: Sex

So, as everyone knows, all relationships begin with a honeymoon period. During this time everything is new and exciting; everything is all sex and cuddling and exorbitant affection. This phase usually lasts between 6 months to 2 years. The conclusion of this phase usually comes with some feelings of stagnation.

Some will feel themselves becoming less excited to engage in sexual activity with their partner and sometimes wondering what it would be like to sleep with someone else. These feelings are normal. Over the course of time, the repetition a committed relationship provides is comforting – but not necessarily a turn on. Human beings crave spontaneity and mystique. Your feelings of love for your partner are stronger than ever, but sexually it’s a snore fest – what do you do?

What you are feeling is actually a biological reaction called hedonic adaptation. Hedonic adaptation is the propensity for humans to adapt to life after change occurs and return emotionally to baseline happiness. The brain’s reaction to repetition of a stimulating event is gradually met with less and less dopamine, making you less likely to actively seek that kind of stimulus.

Get that spark back in your relationship! Things like roleplaying and introducing toys are common ways to spice up a boring sex life, but it’s not just sexual activities that can reinvigorate your romance. Share experiences together – travel, take a class, work-out. Try to venture outside your comfort zone and get to know your partner from a new perspective.

The honeymoon phase includes A LOT of time spent together. Remember: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Make sure you are still an independent entity. It is healthy for a couple to spend time apart.

Learn how to put the spark back into your committed sex life and watch the full video here:

If you watch one video today, make it this one. Take some notes ladies and gentlemen. These are the top 7 sex mistakes that both men and women make in the bedroom! Any of these sound familiar?

Shan Boodram sits down with her good friend and former colleague Chris Thompson to ask – what mistakes are people making that detriment their sex lives? Here are some tips from Chris:

Men:
Foreplay is NOT an option. Just because you’re ready to go, doesn’t mean she is! Take your time, get on the same level and then get atter’.

Mistake #2 – Foreplay for stimulating your partner both physically and mentally. Don’t just pleasure her body, her mind needs attention too. Women’s ability to achieve orgasm is heavily based on something she can visualize or conceptualize mentally.

Finally, don’t focus too much on one particular area of a woman’s body. He compares this to continually rubbing your arm in one spot. Eventually, it’s going to feel uncomfortable. Chris suggests switching it up. Shan’s rebuttable is, however, that sometimes men can have too much going on at the same time. Striking an appropriate balance between keeping it interesting and ensuring it feels good is key.

Women:
Don’t be a limp noodle. Be an active participant! Having a vagina and “letting” a man do his thing in it is NOT a turn on. Your partner wants to know that you are enjoying yourself and that you care about whether or not he is too!

When it comes to oral sex, if you don’t enjoy doing it – don’t bother. Oral is about putting your partner’s pleasure over your own and is an extremely intimate act. Guys can tell when you are doing it out of obligation.

Here is Chris’ advice on hand jobs: just don’t. Unless your partner tells you he really, really likes them, steer clear. This is the main way men masturbate. Men are handjob experts, but not connoiseurs. They are looking for something different from you.

Chris’ last piece of information regarding women’s sex mistakes is this: Listen to your partner’s intent. If you are looking for a relationship and he says that your association will remain purely sexual, don’t have sex with him. You will not hook a guy with sex. You may have a short-lived fling, but it most likely won’t turn into anything long-term.

Watch the full video here:

If you’ve been following along, you’ll know that we have reached part 3 of our 3 part exploration of anal play. We have learned how to prep ourselves and our partner and how to execute the act when trying it out for the first time. Today we will learn about how to maintain a healthy anus.

Maintaining a healthy butthole is important, especially if anal play becomes a regular part of your sexy time routine. You’ll remember the basic anatomy of the anus from the first video: 2 sphincters, the inner controlled by the autonomic nervous system while the outer is yours to clench and unclench as you please.

Step 1 to keeping a clean butthole is to eat healthily. Since the anus is the escape route for digested food, the healthier the food you eat, the healthier the anus will be. Healthy-butt foods include whole grains, beans, veggies and fruit, dried fruit and nuts. Non-healthy-butt foods include dairy, bananas (who knew?), junk food and red meat.

Step 2 is *drumroll please* wash your ass! A bidet attachment for your toilet seat or flushable baby wipes will keep you clean and fresh after every bowel movement. In the shower, all that is needed is a rinse of soap and water. Some people actually use anal douches for a “deep clean”, but it is important to remember that the anus, like the stomach and the mouth, contains healthy bacteria. Douching will remove this bacteria.

If you have watched the entire series of videos and anal play has become a mainstay in your sexytime routine, then invest some time in Step 3: Kegel exercises. A Kegel is a manual tightening and loosening of pelvic muscles. These exercises if performed regularly can maintain tightness in both the vagina and anus.

Step 4 is to drink lots of water! Water intake keeps you from becoming constipated. If you are properly hydrated, your bowel movements should be firm and smooth. If they tend to be hard or painful, your butthole can sustain tearing which can lead to infection. If you notice soreness in your anal area, move onto Step 5: Schedule an appointment. A medical professional will take a peek between your cheeks and make sure everything is ok in there.

Prevent anal tearing by keeping it moisturized. Step 6 recommends a layer of coconut oil rubbed directly on the anus daily which has anti-fungal properties. Anal play, however, requires something more slippery. Dr. Doe recommends investing in a high-quality water or silicone based lube.

Step 7: Wear condoms. Participation in anal play increases the likelihood of this transmission by 30% due to the anus being very absorbent. This partition between the skin (or toy) and the anus will decrease the transmission of sexual diseases.

If you experience anal discomfort, step 8 recommends that you take baths! A 10-20 minute bath per day will soothe irritation and increase circulation to your nether regions. If you aren’t a bath person, even a quick Sitz bath can help ease soreness. Add some baking soda or Epsom’s salt and soak in hip depth water for 5 minutes or so. This combination relieves a number of conditions such as constipation, diarrhea, and hemorrhoids.

Dr. Doe concludes that even if you don’t regularly engage in anal play, it’s still important to take care of your butthole! You only have one!

Find part 1 of this series here and part 2 here

Welcome to part 2 of our 3 part series on anal play. Yesterday we learned how to properly prepare yourself or your partner. Today we will continue with how to proceed with anal sex.

While deciding to try anal sex, schedule a backup plan. There is no reason to rush this experience, so take the pressure off each other and arrange another time to figure things out if the first time is a bust. Decide upon a safeword and choose an insertable item (penis, toy, finger). The item you should be using during your first time should be about the same size of your regular bowel movement. If you took the time to prepare for anal play as described in the first video, you can base the size of your insertable item off this preparation. The goal is to match the feeling of “out” to the feeling of “in” as closely as possible.

Now, wrap it up! Whatever you are using, you need protection. For a penis or a toy, condoms, and for hands, medical gloves or finger dams. This protection not only guards you against contracting diseases, but they smooth the edges of your insertable item. Your anus is a very sensitive organ. This smoothing prevents the anus from focusing on the edges and allows it to focus purely on pleasure.

Next, get into a comfortable position for insertion. For those of you with vaginas, ensure that your position allows for the lube to drift away from the vulva as contact can cause infection. Press the object, unlubed, lightly against the anus and wait for it to pucker. If you start out lubed, the anus will perceive this moisture as leakage and clamp shut. Once given the go ahead, lightly coat the item in high-quality anal lube and press it up against the anus again and wait for it to pucker a second time. Slowly insert the item a short ways inside the anal opening. Allow the anus to adjust to the feeling and then begin moving the item ensuring both partners are relaxed and enjoying themselves.

If you are using a toy, make sure it has a base wider than your anus or a cord you can hold on to so it doesn’t get lost or stuck.

Now, anal doesn’t always require such care and preparation. It is something that can happen spontaneously when you are in the moment. But if you are the type of person who needs some foresight before trying something new, this video is extremely detailed and educational.

Watch the full video here:

This post begins a three video exploration into the wonders of anal play. The inaugural video in this series is an extremely informative explanation of how to prepare yourself and your partner for anal play.

There are two different types of anal play – inner and outer. If you are diving into the art of inner anal sexy time, you need a basic understanding of how the anus is composed. Inside the anus are two muscular rings called sphincters. The inner ring is controlled by the autonomic nervous system which also controls your breathing and heartbeat. It functions automatically and is usually tightly contracted unless it is loosening for a bowel movement. The outer ring is what you feel when you clench and unclench and is completely controlled by you.

So why are we as humans interested in inserting things into our anuses? Well, just like the genitals, the anus and surrounding area is packed with nerve endings making it extremely sensitive. The anus and gentials share a main nerve, the pudendal nerve to be exact, and can transfer sensations back and forth. The anus is also an easy access to both the male and female prostates. Stimulating the prostate gland from inside the anus can result in orgasm without any other stimulation. Another good thing about anal play is that it is gender and sexual orientation neutral – everyone has an anus! (Almost everyone, deeply sorry if you don’t).

So how does one prepare for beginning anal play? The first thing Dr. Doe recommends you do is to eat whole seeds and watch the toilet for them to reappear. This will help you get acquainted with your body. From this you can gauge how long it takes food to pass through your body. Monitoring the toilet regularly can help you assess the foods you eat in regards to smell and consistency of what you pass. If you are going to participate in anal play, you want this area to be fresh as a daisy.

Dr. Doe recommends running through this checklist before engaging in anal play:

1. Hepatitis A and HPV vaccinations: Hepatitis is most commonly transmitted through fecal matter entering the mouth; HPV is the virus that initiates vaginal and anal cancers and can be transmitted through anal intercourse.
2. STI testing results: Anal sex presents the highest risk of transmittal of HIV.
3. Flushable baby wipes: Quick and easy solution to keeping your butthole fresh and clean on a regular basis.
4. Invest in a 1 handed lube pump: This prevents contamination from the designated play hand.
5. Gloves and condoms: Stay Safe! Anal play increases the risk of disease transmittal, so wrap up!
6. Safe words: “Stop” is pretty self explanatory but it is always a good idea to communicate effectively when it comes to your pleasure.

When you have completed the check list, its time to explore. While cleaning yourself in the shower, feel it out. Get familiar with your situation. If you have longer nails, trim them down before experimenting with penetration. Remember to breathe and only continue as long as it is comfortable for you. Dr. Doe says any uncomfortable feelings should pass after 3 attempts, so attempt away!

So, you know how you’ve always wanted to hear your grandma talk about awkward sex stuff in front of a large national audience? I know – me too. In this video, sex expert Sue Johansen, from the platform of her late night live call-in show Talk Sex with Sue Johansen, answers people’s sex related questions.

There’s no question this octogenarian won’t answer; there’s no dumb questions when it comes to sex. It is Sue’s mission to properly inform the world on the subject of sex education.

The first question in this highlight reel of clips is a doozy – Can a dentist tell if someone has a lot of oral? Umm.. no. The answer is no.

The answer to the next question threw me for a loop. Is it safe to have sex in a hot tub? Sue says: NO! Not only will the thrusting push water up into the vagina causing irritation and infection – but there is speculation that water may travel through the cervix and make its way to the fallopian tubes possibly causing endometriosis (a painful and sometimes debilitating condition).

Next, watch Sue calmly listen to a caller from Fort Worth describe her unstoppable queefing. If you thought that would crack ol’ Sue, think again. Is there anyway to stop doing that?, the caller asks. Queefs, however, according to Sue, are marvelous things that are unique to women. Don’t be embarrassed, let em’ rip!

In what can only be described as the single best moment of my life, the following clip features Sue brazenly asking a caller if her partner is using protection during bum sex. It is immediately accompanied by the most horrifying moment of my life as she explains to the caller about the infection she can contract due to the transfer of bacteria from anus to vagina.

During Sue’s Hot Stuff portion of the show, she features different sex toys and explains how to use them. During this highlight reel, Sue introduces an interesting and complicated male masturbation device, a female masturbation device with a vibrating suction tongue, a more conventional strap-on dildo, and a dildo with freakin’ camera on the end of it with which she simulates penetration using her hand.

In 2008, dear Sue decided to retire from her life as a Sunday night sex expert, and the world lost the last true honest and unhindered source of sexual education. All we have left now are the glorious Youtube clips left behind.

If you want to take a trip down memory lane, watch the full video here:

Laci Green gives the lowdown on everything you ever wanted to know and more about sex lubes. She goes over the three different types of lube, water, silicone, and oil based, and gives you some very sound advice on the pros and cons of each type of lube.

Laci also shares her personal experiences with the types of lube she’s used and even admits to having gotten yeast infections on and off for two years from a low quality lube that contained a nasty ingredient.

Speaking of low quality lubes, Laci admits that most sex lubes on the market are not very good and gives a list of ingredients that many lubes contain but you should avoid at all costs. I was surprised at how many lubes contain ingredients that could be harmful and lead to many health problems. It’s crazy that this day and age even our sex lubes contain harmful ingredients. I mean it’s bad enough that most of our food is horrible for us, but even now our sex lubes, sheesh, what’s next?

Probably the best part of the video is when Laci gives her recommendations on the best sex lubes that she’s used and this is awesome because she, as she admits herself, has very high standards when it comes to the various lubes she chooses to use in her sex life. I’m personally a big fan of Laci and I always have many great takeaways after watching one of her videos. I’m definitely going to try out a few new lubes and make sure I check the ingredient label the next time I’m in the market for some new lube, which by the looks of it is going to be very soon.

You can check out the full video below I know that you’ll get a lot out of it as I did, enjoy!