Sexual Consent 101

Sexual Consent 101:
 
You are hanging out with someone you have feelings for. There is a definite spark between you. They ask, “Can I kiss you?”. Cue butterflies, smiles, giggling like a little girl. It’s sexy! But why? Because they asked permission! And guess what? Consent isn’t just sexy, it’s mandatory.
 
If you proceed with sexual contact without consent from your partner, it is considered sexual assault or rape. Perpetrators often coerce their victims through manipulation, black mail, drugs or alcohol, and physical force. Victims often know and trust their attacker. Sexual coercion is often portrayed in the media and is seen as okay. A teenage boy lusts after his high school crush and repeatedly attempts to win her love. In the movies, it’s portrayed as romantic, but in real life, it’s annoying and creepy.
 
How to Ask for Consent:
 
Good consent requires occasionally checking in with your partner. Pay attention to their body language. Keep the sexual communication flowing. This ensures both partners feel safe and comfortable.
 
Rapists often see sex as something that is owed to them. YOU. DO. NOT. OWE. ANYONE. SEX. It doesn’t matter what your previous relationship was. It doesn’t even matter if you had sex with this person before. It doesn’t matter if you had sex with them 12 minutes ago. Even if you are naked with someone in a bed, you don’t owe them sex and they don’t owe you sex.
 
Bothering someone until they say yes is not real consent. Real consent cannot be obtained if NO was never given as an option. Consent is a very clear, concise yes. You can hear it from their mouth and see it in their body language. It is enthusiastic. Your partner will visibly encourage what is happening. Not saying NO does not equal a YES. Silence does not equal a YES.
 
Situations where consent cannot be given:
 
1. When they are drunk:
Even if they say the word YES. If they are too drunk to drive, they are too drunk to knowingly consent to sex.
 
2. When they are underage:
The age of consent varies around the world. What doesn’t vary is the fact that sex with minor is considered rape.
 
3. When you hold authority over them:
You cannot get real consent from someone you have power over.
Ex) Teachers, coaches, doctors, priests.
Your influence prevents their ability to consent.
 
Watch the full video here:

What is a Cuckolding Fetish?

Cuckold is a term that was once used to describe a man after his wife had been unfaithful. A cuckolding fetish is when a man becomes aroused while watching his wife have sex with another man. Men with this fetish are known as either cucks or hot-wifers. Cucks enjoy the shame associated with their spouse being pleasured by another man. Hot-wifers think that their spouse is hot and want to share their hotness with others, no humiliation involved. The other men in this situation are called Bulls. 
 
So why would someone enjoy seeing someone they love engage sexually with someone else? One biological theory says that some men are aroused by the thought of their sperm in competition with other men’s sperm. This fetish has been linked to people with higher IQ’s. This is because it takes an intelligent and emotionally developed man to disagree with the thought that he owns his wife. It also takes an intelligent person to push anger and jealousy away as the natural response to this situation.
 
These fetishes do not involve any betrayal or cheating. All parties are away of the situation. Cuckolding is not to be confused with open relationships, swinging, threesomes, or wife swapping. Cucks and Hot-wifers don’t usually have sex with other women. This fetish is considered interesting because it goes against our “nature”. Our nature tells us we should be jealous and possessive over our spouses. Much of that however is due to environmental factors and social constructs. Because this fetish goes against what most people naturally feel, it’s considered weird. 
 
Is this fetish healthy? That all depends on how it affects one’s daily life. How necessary is this for you to live your life? How does your partner feel about it? If it becomes compulsive and your partner is no longer comfortable with it, the fetish has become unhealthy.

Sex Smells: Pheromones at Work

As humans, we spend a lot of time covering up our natural smells. We shower with scented soap, put on deodorant, wear perfume and cologne, and use scented lotion. We spend all that time covering them up, but natural smells are important. They communicate things to other people.
 
In some parts of Europe, women will put vaginal fluid behind their ears to arouse their partners. And guess what? It works! This is due to a type of hormone called a pheromone. Hormones communicate within the body and tell the body when to do certain functions. Pheromones communicate information outside the body between different bodies. Human pheromones can communicate information such as sexuality and level of fertility.
 
There are many studies that try to confirm or debase pheromones communicative abilities. There is a theory that women who live in close proximity to each other will experience synchronized cycles due to pheromone communication. A study showed that when one female’s sweat was applied to another female’s lip, that female was more likely to synchronize cycles with the owner of the sweat.
 
Pheromones can even communicate political compatibility. Researchers gathered a group of liberals and conservatives. Each participant was to wear a gauze pad in their under arm and collect their sweat for 24 hours. None of the participants were to wear any scented products during this period. The group was then individually asked to smell each gauze pad and rank the smells in terms of attractiveness. The results showed that liberals preferred the pads of other liberals and vice versa.
 
We are attracted to the smells of compatible mates. We are able to detect both similarities and differences. In the animal kingdom as well as in humans, our bodies tell us who to mate with and who to stay away from. For example, they tell us to steer clear of siblings and close relatives and drive you towards partners who are genetically different than you.
 
Watch the full video here:

30 Days of Sex Challenge

30 Days of Sex Challenge
 
Rules:
– It HAS to happen every day
– Must be penetrative sex
– Hand jobs/Oral alone doesn’t count
 
Dr. Ava Cadell, renown sexologist, weighs in:
 
There are many benefits of having regular sex in a relationship. You will have an increase in intimacy and communication. As well as you know each other already, you will get to know even more. You will both feel wanted, desired, sexy and loved. Sex keeps the spark lit in a relationship. It keeps your relationship healthy in all aspects; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
 
Couple #1 have been together for 5 years.
Couple #2 have been together for 11 months.
Couple #3 have been together for 6 years.
 
Day 1
Couple #3
The challenge has begun and so far so good!
 
Day 4
Couple #2
They forgot to have sex before bed and ended up waking up in the night to have sex.
 
Day 7
Couple #1
They are already fed up and don’t want to have sex anymore.
 
Day 8
Couple #2
They experience their first failure. They are finding moving into a new place to be an obstacle in the way of sex.
 
Day 15
Dr. Cadell asks Couple #2 how their relationship has changed. The female partner replies that she usually has an orgasm every time they have sex. During the challenge, she has only orgasmed about 50% of the time. As a couple, they are not enjoying sex as much anymore. Dr. Cadell suggests making sex more of an adventure by sharing fantasies and adding erotic elements.
 
Couple #3 enjoy sex once they are into it, but initiation is getting difficult. What was once their favorite thing has turned into a chore. Their goal for the end of the challenge is for sex to not feel like a burden.
 
The male partner in Couple #1 feels like his penis is going to fall off. Their scheduling isn’t matching up so they are having to have sex at odd times of the day. Their goal for after the challenge is to have sex more often.
 
Day 21
Couple #2
They are finding it hard to get horny and have missed 4 days. Sex now feels like an obligation.
 
Day 26
Couple #1
They are sorry they ever said anything negative. Sex every day has become less of a chore and it is part of their daily routine. They highly recommend this challenge for all couples. Everyone should try it at least once.
 
Day 28
Couple #2
They are looking forward to the end of the challenge. While they learned new things about each other, they do not recommend this challenge.
 
For results, watch the full video here:

6 Holistic Penis Enlargement Tips

For most men, their penis is one of the most important things in their life. Adina has received many emails from men asking her how to enlarge their manhood. Because of these emails, Adina has put together 6 holistic tips for penis enlargement.
 
She prefaces these tips with some thoughts about penis size. A large penis is not an indicator of an amazing lover. It is much more important for a woman to be comfortable during sex. The angle at which you have to look at your own penis makes it seem smaller than it actually is. Porn has a negative impact on male confidence and self-esteem. Many men think a big penis means great sex. This is due to the majority of the population lacking a proper sexual education.
 
Adina’s first holistic growth tip involves growing the confidence of your penis. Subconsciously, women want to be with confident men. Being with a confident man will make her feel safe. The safer she feels, the more she will be able to relax. This will make your sexual experience together magic.
 
The second holistic growth tip is to grow your penis through personal growth. Sex is not only about penises and vaginas. You have sex with a whole person; body, mind, and soul. The deeper and wiser your whole persona becomes, the bigger energy-wise your penis will become. Her third tip is to grow your sexual experience. Get to know more about your sexuality and that of your partner. Learn about the male and female bodies. The more you know, the bigger your penis will metaphorically be.
 
Grow the stamina of your penis. Adina recommends putting this on the top of your priority list. The lasting power of your penis is much more important to a woman than the size. Tip number five – grow the consciousness of your penis. It is important for a woman to be with a man who honors her. A woman needs someone who looks at her with stars in his eyes. Your partner will not even think about penis size if she feels you are present and competent.
 
The final tip is to grow your penis by finding the right conscious partner. In the words of Frida Kahlo, “take a lover that looks at you like maybe you are magic”. Great sex is not achieved by having a big penis or a tight vagina. Great sex is created through open-heartedness, positive energy and effective communication.
 
Yes – Adina realizes these are not the tips you thought you were going to hear. But, these are the tips that you needed to hear.

How to Find Your Prostate & Prostate Massagers

The prostate is a small gland between the bladder and the rectum. It is most easily accessed through the anus. So what’s the big deal? Why would you want to access it in the first place? The prostate is the male equivalent to the female G-spot. It is absolutely packed with nerve endings. Stimulation of the P-spot can cause incredible orgasms.
 
Prostate stimulation can cause an orgasm without ever touching the penis. Regular stimulation helps to perfect the “dry orgasm”. A dry orgasm is an orgasm without ejaculation and is the key to male multiple orgasms. Regular stimulation can also help to prevent prostate cancer and erectile dysfunction.
 
To begin the search for the P-spot use a well lubricated finger and massage the area around the anus and perineum. It is important to use lube because the anus doesn’t self-lubricate. Relax the sphincter muscles to make it easier and more comfortable.
 
The prostate is located 1-2 inches inside the anus and upwards towards the stomach. It will feel like a rounded, raised area with a firmer texture than the surrounding area. Gently massage the area and figure out what movements are the most pleasurable. Once you are comfortable finding the P-spot you can start experimenting with massagers.
 
P-spot massagers are specifically shaped butt-plugs that are curved to directly touch the prostate. They are narrower at the insertion point and widen out towards the base. It’s important that prostate massagers have a base so that they do not get lost inside. The base will keep it in place during intercourse. The base can sometimes be textured for external stimulation.
 
As a beginner you might think a thinner toy would be more comfortable. However, a broader toy will provide more stimulation. P-spot massagers come in many different materials such as glass, steel, silicone and skin safe rubber. Some vibrate for extra stimulation. Some come with a beaded insertion point. Some come with a detachable cock ring.
 
Sammi recommends something like the booty buddy which is made of silicone. It is very soft and flexible for easy insertion and comfort.

How to Use a Sex Swing

Dr. Doe is here to explain the basics of using a sex swing. This model attaches to the back of a door. Her first tip is to make sure to use a study door. Upon opening the box you will find a bunch of straps and 2 plastic tubes. Hang the straps with the tubes over the door. Close the door and lock it for privacy.
 
If your sex swing has a seat it will be in the center of the door. There will be handles near the top and stirrups below for your feet. The most basic position is to sit on the seat and put your feet in the stirrups. Your hands can go anywhere – your partner, the handles, the straps. This position is optimal for vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, or strap-on sex.
 
The stirrups are very strong. You can use them to stand up or squat. It’s still important to be careful as it is easy to lose your balance.
Standing you can receive oral sex from someone sitting on the seat. You can also face the door and squat. You can move the seat to your back and leverage your feet on the door. Dr. Doe demonstrates several other positions you can use with a sex swing.
 
When you are finished playing, unlock and open the door. Slide the tubes off the top of the door and neatly wrap the straps up for next time.

Sex Toy Jewelry

For centuries, humans have been wearing jewelry. Jewelry is worn to show off wealth, beauty and sometimes even for protection. The adult industry and accessory industry have collided to create sex toy jewelry. Sex toy jewelry is the new sexy trend. 
 
The Amelia Whip Choker is named after Amelia Earhart. She was a risk taker and into the idea of open marriage. It is a thin black choker, which was once a symbol of sex-workers in the 1800’s. In the early 1900’s the same style of choker was a symbol of lesbianism. Today a leather or chain choker is a symbol of a submissive sex partner. When you unclasp this choker it becomes a whip for gentle BDSM.
 
The Amelia Lube Vial Necklace is a stylish stainless steel vial that holds any kind of lube. Dr. Doe reminds us that oil based lubricants and condoms do not mix. The Amelia Double Bangle Handcuffs are a stylish bangle bracelet when worn on one wrist. Transfer one bangle to the other wrist and they become quick handcuffs.
 
The Twiggy Massage Ring is named after Twiggy, a model and sexual icon in the 1960’s. Unlike most female stars of the era, Twiggy wore her hair short and dressed gender neutrally. The balls attached to the ring can be used to gently massage any area on your partner. The Twiggy Nipple Clamp Earrings are stylish earrings that double as naughty nipple clamps. Jewelry like this allows you to carry sex toys wherever you go!

Magical Multiple Orgasms

Multiple orgasms are usually seen as a perk of being female. Males can also indulge in this experience. It’s important to know the difference between an orgasm and an ejaculation. Most people think of these two things happening at the same time. Laci says to think of the orgasm as the “party” and the ejaculation as the “confetti”. The secret to multiple orgasms is separating the two.
 
The time it takes a man to be able to ejaculate again is the refractory period. During this period, arousal decreases and the genitals return back to normal. This period comes with euphoria and sleepiness. When you are younger this period is shorter and as you age it gets longer. The key to male multiple orgasms is to avoid this period altogether.
 
So how you do orgasm without ejaculating? Edging is the practice of getting to the point of almost orgasming and then stopping. When you feel like you are almost about to cum, stop all stimulation and let the feeling fade. Get in tune with your body and pinpoint the exact moment you orgasm. Learn self-control and be able to stop yourself from going too far.
 
The best way to aid your self-control is to strengthen your PC muscles. These muscles line the floor of your pelvic cavity and are the ones you use to push out and stop streams of pee. To strengthen these muscles, clench them for 1-2 seconds. Do 3 sets of 20 every day to keep them strong. You will be able to get to the edge of orgasm, clench these muscles and experience an orgasm without ejaculating. Once you have mastered this, you can do it as many times as you want.

Erectile Dysfunction

The condition of the penis where it fails to become erect is known as erectile dysfunction. While this happens naturally in more elderly men, it can also happen to younger men. This causes grief because it affects sexual experiences.
 
There are three main causes of erectile dysfunction. First of all, the blood vessels leading to the penis can become blocked reducing blood flow. The less blood flowing to the penis, the more likely it is that you will have erectile difficulties. The nervous system communicates nerve impulses from all over the body to the brain. If this system encounters an interference in the genitals, erectile difficulties can occur. Another reason for erectile dysfunction is a decrease in libido or sexual desire.
 
There are several diseases that can be behind the causes of erectile dysfunction. Diabetes, hypertension, MS, atherosclerosis, nerve damage and hormonal imbalances can all cause erectile dysfunction. You are more likely to experience erectile issues at a young age if you are overweight, a smoker, drink alcohol or use drugs. Antihypertensives, antidepressants, antipsychotics, tranquilizers all list erectile dysfunction as a side-effect. Stress, fear, sadness, depression, and relationship issues can all affect your ability to maintain an erection.
 
The most highly recommended treatment for erectile issues is lifestyle modification. Quit smoking, limit alcohol intake, lose weight, and don’t engage in substance abuse. If you believe your issues stem from a medication you are taking, talk to your doctor about reducing the dose or changing medications. If stress and anxiety are the root cause, therapy or counseling is recommended. Medications can be prescribed in extreme circumstances.