Today, Lovehoney’s Annabelle is here with several options on how to have sex in the summer time without becoming overheated.
If it is way too hot, temperature and libido wise, try sex positions that require minimum body contact. Annabelle recommends what she calls “the Noodle” which is a scissoring type position. This is an optimal position for summer sexy-time as body contact is limited exclusively to the genitals.
Looking for a cool sensation while you’re getting hot and heavy? Annabelle has some ideas. Buy yourself a cooling lubricant or refrigerate your own. These will provide a shiver during your hottest moments. Buy some disposable body wipes with a fresh scent and refrigerate them. Use them to clean up after sex for a brisk, refreshing chill. If you need a more constant cool, invest in a fan to circulate stagnant air.
If it’s just too hot to function but the mood strikes anyway, there are options. Incorporate sex toys and let them do the hard work for you or engage in mutual masturbation. You can still climax together and fully enjoy sex without overheating and getting uncomfortable.
Don’t let the summer heat prevent you from getting hot and heavy! Watch the full video here:
Realistic dildos – crazy good or creepy? Some hold them in high-esteem, while other’s find severed-looking penises off putting. There are advantages, however, to using a realistic dildo.
Realistic dildos are very detailed – veins, ridges, pronounced head. These will provide more internal stimulation than a smooth toy. For those that live for the feeling of internal stimulation that penetrative sex provides, these dildos are the perfect substitute. They are just flexible enough to be comfortable and rigid enough to easily insert.
Realistic dildos are based on the real thing, so there are many different lengths and girths available. This allows you to experiment with different sizes than what you are used to. Some of them come with testicles attached. These are for providing external stimulation on the perineum or clitoris while the shaft is in inserted. The balls also work as a handle to hold onto during insertion. If that’s not for you, there are realistic dildos that come with just a shaft.
Most realistic dildos have a suction cup attached at the bottom. This suction cup easily attaches to any flat surface and is intended to provide hands-free dildo usage. These toys are also compatible with most strap-on harnesses.
If a flesh-colored realistic dildo isn’t visually pleasing for you, they are available in a rainbow of colors. This provides a visual aesthetic while also maintaining all the pleasure benefits of a realistic dildo.
Sammi Cole highly recommends you add at least one realistic dildo to your toy collection.
Dr. Doe is here again to clearly and concisely explain the do’s and don’t’s of cunnilingus.
The word cunnilingus is derived from two Latin words. Cunnus, for vulva and lingua, for tongue or licking. Dr. Doe’s first don’t – DON’T BITE. Let your tongue do what your hands would do. (Some people like teeth, but that has to be negotiated. Do not surprise someone by biting them).
Do: prep the mouth and vulva. Vulva prep involves getting tested for STI’s, cleaning yourself and shaving. Mouth prep involves checking for cold sores or chapped lips, brushing your teeth and rinsing your mouth.
Do: protect yourself. Infections, like herpes, yeast, gonorrhea, HPV, and syphilis can be passed from mouth to vulva and vice versa. Dams are a great way to prevent the transfer of diseases.
If you are going to go shieldless, do a taste test. Taste or smell before fully committing. Don’t assume no one is going to like your taste or smell.
Do: moisturize. It’s going to be most pleasurable if both the tongue and the surface it touches are both moist and slippery. Don’t spit or slobber. There is such a thing as “too wet” and it’s unpleasant.
Do: breathe. Don’t: blow into the vagina.
Do: teach each other things. Don’t: assume you know everything about someone else’s pleasure. Use your words, communicate and ask questions.
Don’t: bombard the clit. It’s not about finding the magic spot and rubbing it into submission. The clit is very sensitive and can become sore if manipulated too much. Do: use your hands. massage, caress, wander to the back, breasts, thighs, face, butt. Don’t punch, slap, poke, or pinch.
Don’t be insistent on penetration. The Big O can be achieved without entering the vagina.
Do: try new positions. Don’t: let gravity bring anal fluid into the vulva.
Do: involve other erogenous areas (with permission). Treat cunnilingus as its own sexual act. Don’t: use it as a means to penetrative sex. Sometimes it’s nice for cunnilingus to be the star of the show.
Do: communicate what feels good and how you want to be touched. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like and don’t like.
Enjoy yourself but don’t expect an orgasm. Rest if you need to and don’t tire yourself out.
Talking to your kids about sex can be awkward. Laci Green to the rescue! She’s here to save the day with 10 tips on “The Sex Talk”.
Tip #1: Make the Sex Talk the Sex Talk(s)
Sexual development starts in childhood and extends into adulthood. By not communicating about sex early on, it conveys that sex is something embarrassing that shouldn’t be asked about.
Tip #2: Tell It Like It Is
Don’t lie about sex because you think they are too young to understand. Don’t use other names for their anatomy or use euphemisms. Be accurate and truthful.
Tip #3: Initiate the Conversation
Don’t give it the feel of a lecture. This will make them less receptive to the information. Reference a popular movie or T.V. show to start the conversation. Laci also recommends staying away from personal questions as they can become awkward and not relaying anything they say during the conversation to extended family or friends.
Tip #4: It’s Normal!
Between the ages of 10 and 13, kids begin to have sexual urges and feelings. This is completely normal and healthy, so don’t freak out! Reprimanding them for these thoughts and feelings tells them they can’t come to you in an emergency. They will tune you out and do things on the down-low.
Tip #5: Respect!
Let them know that they deserve to be respected and, in turn, they need to respect others. Their body doesn’t belong to you or anyone else but themselves – that goes for their partner as well.
Tip #6: It’s Real.
Teens go through a lot of firsts – just like you did! Don’t dismiss their emotions. What they are feeling is real and raw and very intense.
Tip #7: Comprehensive Sex Ed
Cover a broad range of topics. For example: masturbation, menstruation, gender identity, sexual orientation, healthy vs. abusive relationships, readiness for sex, sexual pleasure, communication/consent, respecting your partner’s body, body image, and self-esteem.
Tip #8: Make It Clear What They Deserve
They deserve happiness, safety, a healthy and pleasurable sex life. They deserve to be secure about their body and to be respected.
Tip #9: Be a Resource
Teens need help accessing things like birth control and condoms. If you feel like there are questions you can’t answer, point them towards some good literature, websites or youtube channels.
Tip #10: Love Unconditionally
Let them know you are there for them, always. This becomes even more important in case they are assaulted or have a pregnancy scare.
Is there such a thing as the perfect blow job? As Ashley Elizabeth explains, as long as you stick to the basics (no teeth, sufficient lubrication – not too slobbery, incorporate your hand) it should at least be decent. But if you feel like your D sucking game isn’t up to par, not to worry. Like anything else, practice makes perfect!
Ashley suggests clear communication with your partner about what they like and don’t like. The more pleasure you give your partner during oral sex, the more pleasurable the act of giving oral sex becomes for you.
So what if your guy’s got some funky junk? If he’s just got home from a long day at work or just finished his work out – now may not be the time for a blow job. Wait until he showers, suggest a shower together or forego the blow job altogether and do something else!
For those of you who don’t like swallowing but feel weird about spitting it out (When? How? Where?) get your guy to give you a heads up when he’s close. Guys – getting a surprise load in the mouth isn’t fun or sexy, so let your partner know. That way she has time to decide how she’s going to deal with it. If you’re not into finishing blow jobs, you can always use oral to get your partner hard and have sex. Guys, however, have a tendency to think that swallowing is sexy. So, if your partner likes it and you don’t mind doing it, have atter!
Ashley wants you to put your fears to rest – don’t worry about slobbering, gagging, making eye contact or looking stupid. You don’t have to get everything perfect as a beginner, you can work up to these things. Ashley’s advice concerning pretty much every sexual act is this: the first time is always a little uncomfortable and awkward. If something really bothers you, you don’t have to do it. But pleasuring your partner can, in turn, be very pleasurable for you. Have fun, talk it out and be safe!
In this video, Tyomi Morgan demonstrates the best sex positions for achieving a squirting orgasm. These positions optimize stimulation of either the G-spot, A-spot and the U-spot. The G-spot, also known as the Grafenberg Spot that is located between 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the frontal wall – between the vaginal opening and the urethra.
The G-spot, also known as the Grafenberg Spot that is located between 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the frontal wall – between the vaginal opening and the urethra. The A-spot, or anterior vaginal fornix, is a ring of muscles that surrounds the cervix. The U-spot is a recently discovered sensitive area of tissue located on either side of the urethra. These “spots”, when stimulated correctly can lead to intensely powerful vaginal orgasms and pave the way for squirting orgasms.
Tyomi has some advice for the ladies: if you try these positions and don’t achieve a squirting orgasm, you are not relaxing and letting go. That slight feeling that you have to pee at the moment of orgasm? That is the feeling of a squirt wanting to be set free. Go to the bathroom before sex and completely empty your bladder. (Tyomi suggests this even if you are not attempting to achieve a squirting orgasm as it decreases the risk of contracting a UTI). You will be conscious during sex that you have an empty bladder. This will ensure when that moment arrives and the urge to pee sets in, you can confidently let go knowing you are not accidentally urinating.
Try out these positions, have some fun experimenting. Every woman is different. What works for one doesn’t work for all. The most important thing to remember is relaxation is key. You have to be able to fully let yourself go at the moment of orgasm to experience squirting. (Don’t forget to check out our step by step guide on how to make a girl squirt)
Everyone knows how accessible porn is these days. Is it these factors that make it so problematic for some people they become “addicted”? Laci Green investigates the claim that porn is addictive like a substance.
The claim that pornography is addictive mostly comes from religious entities and anti-porn groups that promote an abstinence only lifestyle. However, there are other individuals that claim pornography has desensitized them to real life sexual experiences. They also say that the removal of porn from their lives has rectified all their sexual issues.
The logic behind the pornography-addiction argument is that the sheer amount of porn available and the instant accessibility of porn is over-stimulating in comparison to real life sexual experiences. A study conducted by the University of Cambridge suggests that over time your exposure to pornography can increase your tolerance to sexual stimuli, akin to the way the body adapts to alcohol and drug use. Some research suggests it actually rewires your brain in regards to arousal.
Pornography-induced erectile dysfunction is the result of frequent masturbation to pornographic material. This usually occurs at a young age. The introduction to sexual material in our society begins with very graphic and intense images that set the framework for future arousal.
Addiction is scientifically known as a need to use that is biologically driven. Pornography, however, doesn’t change the cell composition the way addiction to chemical substances does. Laci concludes that it is not healthy to refer to pornography as a drug because it frames normal, healthy, curious sexual behavior as abnormal and wrong.
So is the root of pornography “addiction” problem really the pornographic material? Laci believes the problem lies with repressed relationship issues or emotional difficulties that drive people to cope with whatever works and then overuse of “whatever works”.
Most people view pornography without issue. Other that may have underlying emotional problems or predisposition to “addictive” behavior may use porn as a problematic outlet. Good advice in regards to any activity: best enjoyed in moderation. Laci suggests that viewing or utilizing porn multiple times a day is entering unhealthy territory. An even better gauge is that if porn is causing negative consequences in your life it is becoming an unhealthy habit.
Sex expert Helena has decided to finally publicly answer the most frequent question she receives as a sexual coach: How do I last longer in bed? As she explains, it’s all a matter of controlling sexual energy and mounting pressure.
As the body gets aroused and fills with sexual energy it introduces a lot of tension into the body that focuses itself in the pelvis. This concentration of energy, coupled with the constriction or cessation of our breathing creates a nucleus of tension in the genitals. The tension builds and builds until the body just can’t hold it anymore, causing premature ejaculation. Tantric experts consciously relax the body and pelvic area through deep breathing. Being relaxed doesn’t mean you are limp and uninvolved. You can be fully active and involved in your sexual experience while being deliberately relaxed.
Helena recommends controlled breathing. Expand the belly while inhaling and exhale fully and completely without leaving any spaces between breaths or holding the breath to create tension. Your breathing must flow without interruption. This relaxes the entire body, including the pelvic area. This bodily tranquility allows sexual energy to flow throughout the body away from the genitals which will decrease the urgency to ejaculate. As an added bonus, the wonderful feelings your genitals undergo will also flow throughout your body adding an extra element of pleasure to your sexual experience.
Tantra is an ancient meditative practice that is commonly thought of to be purely sexual in nature, but it actually serves many other purposes. Employing it sexually can increase the pleasurability of your experience as well as your longevity during intercourse.
In this video, Shan Boodram explains the 3 main reasons we as human beings have sex and the biological reactions that take place inside our bodies during sexual experiences.
So when should you have sex with someone? There is no magical number of dates you should wait for. Sexual activity should occur if both you and your potential partner have both mutual consent and intent, and your person intent should be communicated clearly. The example scenario shows a couple on a third date deciding to have sex. While they clearly had mutual consent, their intentions seemed to differ. And why is sexual intent important in relationships?
Reason #1 We Have Sex: Pleasure
During the stimulation of sexual tissue, adrenaline and endorphins are released causing increased blood flow and an almost opiate like high. After the resulting orgasm, dopamine, the body’s happy chemical is released.
Reason #2 We Have Sex: Connection
20 seconds of holding someone is all it takes for the body to start producing oxytocin, the cuddle hormone. Cuddling before sexual activity is a great way for people to create familiarity, emotional connections and trust within a relationship.
Reason #3 We Have Sex: Relaxation
Sexual relations trigger the production of serotonin which regulates your mood, prolactin which clears your mind and melotonin that makes you sleepy. What a perfect little happy hormone cocktail.
In the scenario storyline it was clear that the parties involved had different sexual intent. The female was looking for something more emotional while the male was in it for pleasure and relaxation. Engaging in sexual activity with someone will not coerce someone to love you or become bonded to you in the way you want them to be unless they also have that same intent. Shan believes that sex should remain an experience and not a means to a hypothetcal outcome.
Sex toys are not a new invention. Dating back as far as the 13th century, people were carving out goat eyelids for use as cock rings. They were (and actually still are) steamed and dried out to give them a soft feel. Nowadays there is a large variety of different cock ring materials to choose from in case you don’t feel like shoving your dick into an old leathered eyelid: rubber, nylon, neoprene, jade, wood, stone, beads; someone got super creative once and used liquorice laces.
So what is the purpose of a cock ring? Dr. Doe describes the effect a cock ring has on the penis as an “oomph”. Wrap an elastic band around the base of your finger and wait – it’s going to get really hard and swollen. Take the elastic off before you lose your finger and think of that reaction in terms of a penis. The more blood going into the penis and staying there, the harder and larger the erection will become. As the brain processes this extra stimulation, it dilates the arteries in the penis which further increases blood flow to the penis. The tissue the penis is composed of absorbs the blood and keeps it there.
Cock rings are meant to be placed on an erect or semi-erect penis to create pressure and hold an erection longer. There are many different kinds of cock rings – some are just for decoration and others come with cool features such as clit stimulators and built-in buttplugs. In Victorian times, which were prudish as fuck, a cock ring was designed with pointy metal spikes to stab an erect penis as punishment for getting excited. While those probably still exist in the BDSM world, most cock rings today are designed for comfort.
Here’s Dr. Doe’s Cock Ring Safety Checklist:
1. Nothing metal or rigid (like wood or hard plastic) to start out with
2. Ensure it’s easy to apply and remove
3. Take it for a short test drive and take it off – check your skin for any damage
4. Only wear cock rings for short intervals – about 20 min
5. If your erection lasts for more than 3 hours seek medical attention
6. If the ring won’t come off – that also requires a trip to the E.R