The Think Tank is notorious for poking fun at.. well basically everything. In this video, they are taking a critical look at Cosmo magazine’s 4 worst sex tips ever.
Tip #1
“Take a few of your favorite erotically appealing flavor combinations.. And mix up yummy treats all over his body”
While John seems to think that it’s not so bad, Hannah points out something very important. If you are a hairy guy, be careful what substances she is using to “mix up treats” on your body. Anything too sticky or thick is going to be difficult to remove. Also, licking said substances off a hairy body might feel a bit different than licking them off a smooth body.
Tip #2
“Keep a spray bottle filled with ice water next to the bed.. Aim for the nerve-packed, thin-skinned areas on each other’s body”
Is your partner a cat? Do you have to spray them when they do something you don’t like Don’t forget to pat them on the head and give them a treat when they do something you do enjoy.
Tip #3
“As you’re eating dinner say.. ‘See how I’m devouring this piece of meat? That’s how I’m going to devour you”
Um. Yeah, let’s not. That actually sounds like you are a serial killer. If you want your partner to think you have someone living in a pit in your basement, by all means, say some weird stuff like this.
Tip #4
“Cook dinner topless, apply a little tomato sauce to your nipple, and ask your man to lick it off”
Make sure it doesn’t come right out of the pot and onto your nipple. If blistering skin is your weird sex fetish, go right ahead. You are probably also going to smell like a pizza burp if you keep rubbing sauce all over your body.
I think at some point Cosmo ran out of normal sex tips and started publishing the bat-shit crazy ones that your drunk, inappropriate, overtly sexual Aunt mails in. Have some fun and combine the tips together. Keep a spray bottle of tomato sauce beside the bed and spray it on your partner as you eat a piece of meat. (Please don’t).
